questionablepastries:

questionablepastries:

maliketh:

majormeilani:

hospitals in america are like you farted and it was soooo stank we had to turn on a fan. +$100000000000 to your hospital bill

buddwyer:

carygrantsbeard:

the chad baby born out of wedlock vs the lame baby born within the sanctity of marriage

newtsfrogstoads:

newtsfrogstoads:

Going from being an introverted lurker on reddit to trying to post my own stuff here is so wild. I keep typing out a post, deleting it, then retyping because I think it’s not good enough but then I look at other posts and why am I so worried?

It’s like I’m at a fancy Italian restaurant and keep glancing around the room to see which hand people use to pick up the forks. But then I realize that everyone is shoveling spaghetti into their mouths using their bare hands and I’m like ah okay so I’m clearly overthinking this

This restaurant is absolute chaos and I’m giving it 5 stars

papasmoke:

a second bumblebee has hit the twin flowers

magz:

umbweon:

i cant stop thinking of this video i forgot where i saved it from last night. baby eat fish

(Video: someone hand feeding a baby seal, two small fish.)

ezorzea:

feelinglitigiouss-deactivated20:

ezorzea:

need a girl who poops in her underwear

Are you expecting this to be taken seriously? The conundrum is that you have both extremely low standards, and also extremely high standars.

Though I wish you to meet a very ‘one in a million’ type girl.

need a girl who poops in her socks

log6:

“Christ on a cracker” well actually I think you’ll find Christ is the cracker. And also the wine. But you wouldn’t know that you fucking protestant heathen

zahnegott-lives:

little slavic man

daaudball:

Hmmmm